Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Who learned you to spoke?

I stumble through the language provided by your fathers....
four score and seven years ago.
I search to reclaim the words spoken by my people.
The language of love.. Pain... and true passion.
I understand some.. Gracias Abuelitos.
But was never raised to speak in this tongue.

A White Mexican.... A WHITE MEXICAN.
I dress or act differently than what? A cholo?
Than a construction worker? A gardener?
Your everyday run of the mill undocumented citizen?
(Illegal immigrant, translated for your simple mind)

I am all those... I didn't choose to fair skinned. I love my culture.

I am Mexican. I am Latino. I am Mexican American. I am Aztlan.

I am an intellectual, talented, humorous and attractive Latino male trying to reclaim a culture lost to me.

I am not the Whitest Mexican you know.

And if I could tell you all of this in a language I long to know.
I would scream it in your fucking face.

I am learning. I will continue to do so... And I hope you will do the same.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

One Missed Call

A missed phone call at one in the morning...
what kind of conversation would it have been?
The thought of your voice makes my bones ache.
I almost forget that I'm glad you had to go away.

This town is too small for the both of us now...

How have you been... How is your head?
You were losing it so fast.
I hope that that you laid your habits to bed.
It just wasn't my responsibility... Wasn't worth my time.

This room is too small for these feelings now...

Me? I'm looking for a new place to settle.
Looking forward to being alone for little.
I feel good things coming... The bad is almost gone.
Playing this guitar and listening to that one about the Blood Bank.
The song we used to love. making me ill.

The need for you has grown too small now...

Erased a missed phone call at six this morning
what kind of conversation would it have been?
The thought of your voice makes my heart ache.
I almost forget that I'm glad you had to go away

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Nuts and Bolts

Ha ha eyes heavy… Body elated.
The sound of something this simple could make a soul float right through the skin which holds it captive.
Never meant to cry… But the liquid running down ones face is a welcomed surprise.
Cool tears and warm flesh, and that something…
Nuts and bolts are falling out your mouth
Focus for God’s sake…. It is pretty late.
And you think that it is going to be alright.
They, she and you… shit and fear pouring from the seams.
Only the silliest geese can calm this fear.

Never being able to say things as they’re meant…
Words swimming through the mouth and cascading to the floor.
It all washes out as you block them with a door.

Trust, I could hear you clearly… but all your words were empty

Footsteps Like People

There is nothing that can be done know, it’s hard to know where it began. All that really matters at this point is I am sorry. There went the first set of windows. I guess you could say that growing up wasn’t the easiest thing… I turned out fine though… Didn’t I? I guess maybe I just needed to believe in myself a little more. I wish that I had the opportunity to learn how to fly. There is no way out of this freefall. I can go places! I can do whatever the fuck I choose to do! I will be great! But I need wings… I am only a few feet from the ground now… If I close my eye, do I get another chance?

I didn’t make it… I am afraid to open my eyes to the footsteps, footsteps like people are gathering around the shell of what I used to be.

All I wanted was a second chance… I could have done it. I will… I will open my eyes and walk away from the carcass lying on the cement. And I will succeed in every way it couldn’t. My name Isaac… And I have come to live and to love and be happy…

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Not Tonight...

Don't care anymore... Apathy is not the word.
Sometimes you may feel like running.
Looking in the mirror... It takes you back.
Long forgotten times past.

Not tonight... Your reflection is a reminder.
You wanted a change. You needed the chance.
Pave way for the opportunity to see itself present.
Oh mirror, mirror.

Never had the words to back the track.
Things get better all the time they say.
I don't doubt them... I just don't believe.
Everything changes but nothing comes free.

You like who you've become...
You may not like what you see.